Jon's Crusader Kings II Blog

OK, so I'm 12, and I don't have much territory. Not great. Let's start off by getting myself betrothed to a Greek princess. I don't have much in the way of troops (see small territory above), but I can probably afford to hire the smallest company of mercenaries (the Sami band) and take over an adjoining county. The Sami band is hired out right now, though, so I'll wait. I'm 12, I have my whole life in front of me, so I can wait. OK. That worked. Now I have three counties under my control and (in theory) bringing in money and providing troops. I have been avoiding serving my king, since I view that as rightfully mine, but perhaps I need to chill out and play along. Besides, I might be best off taking back the kingdom of Sweden rather than Noridake. So now I'm Chancellor of Noridake. I am saving up some money for another war, and waiting out my truce with the guy I took the last county from, when Count Rolf gets snippy with me. I try to throw him in ...

I'm not sure what to do with this guy. I don't have that long to ponder it.

So, who is Duke Niklas, I hear you ask? Well, we are nothing if not about the family history, so let's take a look. He is the 28-year-old son of Count Bror of Finland (1177-1227) and Marta Ostendotter (1201-1219), Bror's third wife (of four). He has five older half-sisters, no brothers. Bror was the son of King Peter . So, my dynasty started Stenkil-Inge-Boris I-Peter-Boris II-Saga-Iliana. We are now backing up to the line of Peter, with his nephew Niklas (Saga's first cousin, the late Iliana's first cousin once removed.) This is who were are depending on to reclaim the throne. He is married to the 33-year-old Duchess Elin, and they have three kids, Bror (9), Elin (5) and Lars (3). I am a Duke four times over, holding the Duchies of Uppland, Finland, Ostergotland and Halsingland. Bror is going to inherit two, and Lars two. This is the problem with gavelkind succession. I am currently at war with the Teutonic Order, and losing. Since I started it, ...

OK, literally ruled by a newborn. I raise a bunch of money by ransoming prisoners. I set up a betrothal, looking 16 years down the line, but am instantly subject to Marta's second revolt. Guess I shouldn't have ransomed her. I use my treasury wisely and am winning that one, when the King of Denmark decides to have another go at Sweden. I think I have to put down the revolt as my first priority. So I give away another county and fight until my treasury is almost gone, but Marta is back in jail. Here I lost some of my updates, but basically, when I was 3, Norway invaded, two people tried to usurp the throne of Sweden and one the throne of Noridarke. I gave away a county to Norway, and held out until I was 10 before my first cousin once removed, Count Bror, took Norway from me, and I was left as Queen of Noridarke. Well, at least I am down to one revolt. For a few months, before I'm up to two. Somehow, I get a white peace offer out of one of them, and I get to put the re...

Well, this is difficult. My first queen, betrothed to her 12-year-old cousin. My cousin, Prince Bror, is the heir for now. Let's see what happens next. And...my weakness means I have to accept autonomous vassals. I have enough of a treasury to put down any attempts to disrupt my rule directly, but I think I will save it for emergencies. And...there it is. The King of Denmark thinks he sees weakness, and invades. And...I am maimed and captured in battle. And...my regent accepted the peace offer, losing a province. And...a Norwegian duke sees weakness and attacks, just after I let my armies stand down. And...Duchess Marta tries to claim the throne for herself. At least since the duke was claiming one of Marta's territories, that ends the previous war. And...I win the war while pregnant. Things may be turning around. Or maybe not.

OK, what do I do now? Well the first thing is to figure out who my heir is. I for some reason married my aunt, who is 17 years older, and no longer of childbearing age. We have one daughter, Princess Saga, who I make my heir. But I need to fix this, so I petition the pope (it's good to have your own pope) for a divorce, which he grants because, hello, she's my aunt. I remarry a young Russian princess and set out to produce a son. The antipapacy ended for some reason I can't determine. I am fairly weak, so I had to agree to gavelkind succession. And...it looks like I married a lesbian. No son yet. Let's see if I can get another divorce. Nope. And, I couldn't manage to kill her before I died of Camp Fever. Lame.